“Fear is not real. It is the product of thoughts you create. Now do not misunderstand me, Danger is very real. But Fear is a choice” – Cypher Raige, After Earth
Procrastination blog mark 100 and something. Revision unwillingly leads to tangents, thank fuck, otherwise I’d go insane. Well this tangent kind of came to a head with the trailer for “After Earth” being released. I’ve been thinking about fear, and how everybody has at least one. If you are without fear, then in my eyes, you’re either the bravest person on the planet or you’re just stupid. But I’ve come to realise, well, life is too short to waste on some fears, not all, just some. Now mine’s quite embarrassing, I’m yet to meet someone who share this and to be honest, I was ashamed of it for a long time. I’ve only ever told 3 people what my biggest fear is, but I figured, y’know what, fuck it, there’s no time like the present right?
“But sleeping gets tiring, and dark reminds me of dying. And as long as this feeble heart is still beating, you will find me rushing through every room, switching on all the lights.” – Frank Turner (Tape Deck Heart)
So yeah, I’m scared of the dark, well, I was until recently. The reason I’ve never spoken about it is because, well, what grown man has ever been scared of the dark? None. It’s pretty irrational, but the dark is a pretty frightening thing. It’s not the lack of light or anything like that. I think it’s just as Frank Turner’s said, “dark reminds me of dying.” Darkness is kind of like surrendering to the unknown, and it almost feels as if you’re being surrounded and swallowed, like you’re, powerless, dead. Almost like there really is nothing left. In short, it feels like giving up. But, for the last few months, I’ve slept sans light as an experiment, to test myself. And what I’ve come to realise is that darkness isn’t any of what I thought it was, it’s just another state of being, another aspect of living that we’ve become used to and learnt to live with. I think that a lot of my fear was that I had a certain idea of what darkness was, and became fixated on that idea. But that’s the point, I thought it was something fearful, and I knew nothing. I let my mind run away with itself until I allowed darkness to become what I thought it was, this all enveloping entity that would consume me. This was until I realised that darkness had evolved with my imagination and become exactly what I thought it had, and that I knew nothing about it, that was until these last few months, I realised there really is nothing to be scared of.
“Don’t think you are, know you are” – Morpheus, The Matrix
Morpheus pretty much sums up why I was scared. I spent too much time thinking. It was only when I became used to the dark in a way that I found that fear was a choice, and the more you think and let your mind wander, the further your fear will grow. I realised that being scared of the dark was akin to giving up, and I wasn’t ready to do that just yet. When, you choose to face your fear, then you start to wonder why you were scared in the first place. If you know you’re not scared well, the fear becomes a lifted weight, but the only way to know that is if you face it, and hell, if I can do it, anybody can.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure” – Paulo Cohelo, The Alchemist
‘ Til next time Tris Out