Earth’s Mightiest Heroes

Well, my essay is nearing completion and I want to play with this new blog layout. So I figured, with the worldwide release of Avengers: Age of Ultron this weekend (well…in the states anyway, we’ve had it for over a week now #YayUs) I figured I’d post my rankings of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films so far! Avengers, ASSEMBLE!

Note: This list excludes “The Incredible Hulk” as I never watched it and don’t plan on it, mainly as the actor playing the Jolly Green Giant has changed more times than Beyonce’s hair colour.

#9 – Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain-America-The-First-Avenger

Despite this being last, I did enjoy aspects of this one. Chris Evans was awesome in his introduction as the eventual leader of the Avengers, as was Hugo Weaving as Red Skull (that couldn’t really have been anybody else). But they were the victims of bad writing and a pretty boring origin story. Cap only really becomes exciting after he thaws out, tries adjusting to the modern world, and joins the Avengers. Unfortunately, that makes this WW2 film with super powers a pretty lame duck…it also felt super rushed so that we could get to the Avengers (not necessarily a bad thing in hindsight, but still very rushed)

Me neither Cap, me neither
Me neither Cap, me neither

 

#8 – Iron Man 3

Iron-Man-3-International-Poster-HD

I wanted to like this one, I really did. That only worsened my disappointment in my favourite Avenger. Iron Man spends half the movie out of his suit, Shane Black basically wiped his arse with The Mandarin (seeing as he’s Iron Man’s arch nemesis in the comics, that was a dick move) and it’s set at Christmas…for no apparent reason. The only thing that redeemed this was Robert Downey Jr. and his eternal mastery/curse to  play nobody but Tony Stark for the rest of his lifetime. But, even RDJ couldn’t make up for a very half-arsed effort, as crap ending and a plot that, much like the MK-41, fell apart very quickly. Iron Man deserved better.

ironman3-2
No, Tony…you’re meant to be IN the suit mate…

#7 – Thor: The Dark World

thor-the-dark-world-new-poster

Despite its place on this list, I thought that this film was a massive step up from Iron Man 3! We got to see an awesomely detailed amount of Asgard that would make most HDTVs jealous, as well as loads more action! I did get childishly excited when I heard Alan Taylor was announced as director, Game of Thrones + Thor can only equal brilliance. Once again, it’s only rated this low because a brilliant comic villain (Malekith, The Accursed) was dumped like yesterday’s chip oil. I got all excited about Christopher Eccleston, then didn’t even realise he was there. That being said, I’m glad we got more of the Warriors Three and Sif (well…Warriors Two as Hogen was only in the first 10 minutes), Thor and Loki’s scenes were sick, and Kurse turned up to be Asgard Hulk!

When your music hits
When your music hits

#6 – Iron Man 2

iron_man_int_1200

People slate this one and I don’t know why. Whiplash was pretty cool, we finally got War Machine (after that little tease at the end of Iron Man) and Tony spent most of the film as Iron Man! Hell, this is where the Avengers ball started to roll properly, bringing in Black Widow for a badass raid on Hammer Tech. Sure, Justin Hammer was annoying, but you can’t win ‘em all. Oh and suitcase armour, always suitcase armour (all fans of the 90s animated series collectively squeeled like sirens)

I AM IRON MAN *cue theme song*  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JT7fCrQFNU or alternatively - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBbnT-cIDVM
I AM IRON MAN *cue theme song* – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JT7fCrQFNU or alternatively – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBbnT-cIDVM

#5 – Thor

Thor_Official_Poster

I was unsure of this one at first, but it was a great establishment for a guy who doesn’t really have an origin story (aside from y’know, being born). Chris Hemsworth was absolutely awesome, the film was paced very well, and we started to see the MCU tie together for the first time, with the immortal line “I don’t know, Stark never tells me anything.” This did also give birth the Tom Hiddleston fan-club, but it’s a small price to pay.

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#4 Iron Man

hi-res-domestic-poster-iron-man-879214_864_1280

The one that started it all. When this film came out, I was 16 years old and studying for my IGCEs. It’s 7 years later and I now feel incredibly old. My favourite super-hero meant that of course I would like this one. Great establishment of the character, nobody else could have played Tony Stark AND it resurrected Robert Downey Jr’s career. What more could you want?

and now, we wait for the others to catch up...
and now, we wait for the others to catch up…

#3 Captain America: The Winter Soldier AND Guardians of the Galaxy

 

 

 

 

This one was tough (especially as they came out within months of each other). Winter Soldier made Cap cool again as a stand-alone hero and also elevated SHIELD massively (before destroying it). It also played on his relationship with Black Widow and starting tantalising us for Civil and Infinity Wars. GOTG on a similar level, took the MCU to a new height (literally) and in doing so, expanded it just the right amount! It also gave birth to I AM GROOT, camaaaan)

“Groot’s the only one of you that has a clue” – Star Lord
Now when they said super-soldier
Now when they said super-soldier

#2 The Avengers

Marvels-The-Avengers

If you’re asking “why?”, then you clearly haven’t watched this film. It’s made fans out of non-superhero-believers, it went way above the hype, and it finally gave us a stable Hulk. Wins all around!3816341-9962489077-D7DvH

#1 Avengers: Age of Ultron

Avengers-Age-of-Ultron-Poster

ALL OF THE EPIC. Hulkbuster and Vision and Sassy Ultron and New Avengers and Wakanda and Infinity War and Thanos and Joss Wheedon…dunno if you can tell but this one is my favourite right now. If you haven’t watched it yet, stop what you’re doing, stop reading and go. Go…GO! NOW! CODE GREEN

Calling in Veronica
Calling in Veronica

So that’s it, what do you guys think? Do you agree? do you not? Are you secretly an 8-foot tall bionic ninja with the power of flight?! *shrugs* One thing’s for certain. I think that all of us Marvel fanatics can agree that DC might as well give up. The Justice League are late to a battle that they’ve already lost…and besides…we know who’d win:

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